Candy
by Die Wiederkehr
Summary: Mystina and Arngrim go to Lezard's Tower after a bit of shopping, poor Arngrim , and they overhear Lenneth and Lezard. Hilarious misunderstandings inside.
1. Chapter 1

Mystina had been having a _fine_ day. She'd dragged Arngrim out with her into Flenceburg to find something to put on the massive warrior that didn't cover his shoulders alone. The venture had been futile however but Mystina was happy to announce that she found the cutest pair of boots and a skirt to match! Shopping like that helped to distract her mind from the sudden friendliness between Lenneth Valkyrie and Lezard Valeth.

She'd scoff and say she wasn't jealous. Why should she be jealous of the goggle-eyed twerp? She wasn't! In fact, she'd remind anyone that said otherwise that she used to beat him up while they were in school. When they'd returned to the tower, Mystina and Arngrim passed right by the room that Lenneth and Lezard were apparently occupying at the time. Normally she'd ignore them and continue to her room, making Arngrim carry everything there, but a giggle made her stop short and press her ear to the door.

The heavy warrior watched her, eyebrow raised and opened his mouth to ask her what she was doing but she quickly shushed him. Inside, the giggling carried on.

"Come on, Lezard. Taste my mounds." The was a soft moan heard behind the door and another giggle. This laughter was clearly Lenneth's voice but- Why would she be giggling in the midst of such an action? Mystina looked at Arngrim, wide-eyed, and the warrior was obviously just barely restraining himself.

"Delicious, my beloved."

More giggling could be heard and something crumpling. Did they unwrap something to use in their… their perverse games?

"What would _you_ do for my klondike bar, Lenneth my sweet~?"

"I'll show you that your m and m's really do only melt in your mouth, not your hands." A squeal could be heard, followed by more giggles and some "Mm, Lenneth"s.

Mystina now had to resort to holding on tightly to Arngrim and threatening to turn him to stone if he barged in. How much more embarrassed would Lenneth be if the two of them barged in while they were in the middle of _that?_

"Lenneth, you absolutely must try this. I'm sure you'll love it." Lezard's voice came and this time, Arngrim had to subdue Mystina. Despite her small size, she was quite the fighter. Especially since, sooner after, a surprised Lenneth replied:

"Oh! It's hard…" Lezard laughed at her, softly.

"Lick it, don't bite it. Or suck it. It'll hurt if you bite."

Oh gods, Mystina would never be able to eat candy again after today. She almost had to run away to avoid being sick outside Lezard's door.

Inside, there was the sound of tearing and then another squeal from Lenneth.

"Lezard! You got milk duds all over me! I'm all sticky now!"

"I'm sorry, Lenneth. I didn't know it was going to happen!"

"Do it like that and nothing else could have." Her voice sounded like she was pouting.

"I'll make it up to you. Try my whoppers. I promise, no more stickiness." They could hear Lenneth moaning in approval then muttering something about "more" but her voice was too quiet now. It was then that Mystina and Arngrim couldn't restrain themselves any longer! Arngrim kicked the door with enough force that it was knocked from the hinges and Mystina stormed in, prepared to cast a spell on Lezard for defiling the goddess.

…

Only for the two to stop in their tracks and stare at the silver haired woman and the mage. Bother were sitting on a plump couch with a ridiculous amount of candy around them. Lezard was in the middle of feeding Lenneth a small piece of chocolate covered candy. Lenneth's cheeks were pink at the sight of the two einherjar barging in and Lezard dropped the candy.

"What..?" Lenneth could even form the question but Lezard was already on top of things.

"Are you two mad? What made you think it was necessary to break down one of my doors?" Lezard stood and helped Lenneth to her feet, several pieces of chocolate falling down from her skirts.

"We… We thought that you and Lenneth… That you two were…" Mystina stuttered and scowled and looked desperately at Arngrim so that he would finish for her.

What could the heavy warrior say though that wouldn't enrage the mage and a goddess? The answer: absolutely nothing. No matter how it was phrased, it would offend the both of them and then he and Mystina would be in for quite the painful rebuttal. Lenneth forced the two of them to repair the door while she and Lezard cleaned up most of the mess. With the threat that next time they were such fools, there's be a Nibelung Valesti in store for them…


	2. Authors Note

As of this week, the fics with this message have been moved to my new account on Archive of Our Own to extend how many people read them! I likely won't be adding anything new here so watching me there would be your best bet. Same username as here!


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